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A Brief Overview of the Crippled Kung Fu Film.

© Sam McAbee

When you look closely at the distinct film universe of kung fu movies, you probably notice many themes and complex, connected story lines and structures, be it through recurring characters, like Wong Fei Hong, or varying martial arts styles such as Mantis Fists, Mad Monkey kung fu, or Tiger Crane. There's the inevitable training sequence, which is certainly a common thread that runs throughout kung fu film. And who could forget the frequently used theme of "you killed my teacher, I kill you!" or "you disrespect my school, I kill you!"? Without these constant traits, martial arts movies just wouldn't be martial arts movies.
But even with all of these welcome recurrences, one cannot deny the obvious monotony that plagues much of the genre. Now let me state, here and now, that I enjoy all of the monotony that comes with watching a kung fu film. Without these familiar occurrences, it just wouldn't seem right, it just wouldn't work. But as we all know, a training sequence can only be taken so far; it's just one of those hard facts of life. This situation left the average kung fu filmmaker with a hard question to answer: Where does the genre go from here, and what's next? Well, what came next was certainly a step in the right direction. Just look at it this way, when you've exhausted all possibilities and used up all available resources, what can you do? The answer is obvious, exploit the handicap. And that's just what martial arts movies did. In fact, they exploited almost every facet of the handicap world that was available to them at one time or another.

Just look at the history of gimp fu films. It all basically started in 1967 with the One Armed Swordsman and moved on to more extreme handicaps, such as people with no arms, no legs, blind people, retarded people, and mutes, just to name a few. The genre lasted a good twenty years and produced some of the most entertaining and memorable kung fu movies ever. Who could forget Wang hop's masterful staff twirling using only his flipper-baby arm, or Ka Hai's spectacular legless stump butts? And what about Jimmy Wang Yu's endless reworking of the one-armed boxer/one-armed swordsman routine. It just goes to show that it never gets old if you're missing a body part or two.

Now, for the casual gimp fu fan, it might not seem like there is enough material to warrant a lengthy discussion such as this, but I beg to differ. In fact, there are probably more crippled kung fu movies out there than any other martial arts sub-genre, and rightfully so considering that they have provided some of the most captivating images to ever come out of Hong Kong. And surprisingly, this is a distinct category of film that has never been very well documented, in effect, one might even say that it has been shunned and ignored, much like the people who star in them. We cannot let this prejudice continue, we must lend all of our support and concern to these wonderful films that give the physically challenged a platform to perform and show the world that they can kick as much ass as a man with two legs! I say it's time for a change, it's time to bask in the glory of the reality of being a handicapped martial artist! And maybe, just maybe, this article will light the spark and operation "Stump Fu Awareness" will finally begin. So let's get right into our little overview, before it's too late.


Master of the Flying Guillotine A.K.A. One Armed Boxer 2 (1976)

This is one of the all-time coolest martial arts movies ever made. And that's not just because it's got Jimmy Wang Yu reprising his legendary role of the one-armed boxer. It's also got Chia Yong as the blind master of the flying guillotine who's out to avenge the destruction of his school at the hands of the infamous one-armed boxer. So you see, this movie is so fucking good, it's got a gimp versus a crip. What more do you need? Well, it's also got plenty o' heads getting chopped off by the incredible guillotine device and a huge martial arts tournament featuring a guy with giant, long extendo arms! Certainly a required chapter in the ongoing story of crippled kung fu films. A must-see classic.


  Crippled Masters (1982)

When you say crippled kung fu, people listen. When you think crippled kung fu, this is the first film that usually comes to mind. It's the legendary, one of a kind (except for the three other movies with these actors) motion picture that truly demonstrates what a crippled martial artist can do. It stars the great Wang Hop and the amazing Ka Hai as the two cripples who form a strange bond as a result of their mutual afflictions, thanks to the power-mad warlord who gave the orders to have them both crippled for life. Wang Hop's arms are chopped off because of his supposed disloyalty, but we're not given the chance to see what it is exactly that he does, since the movie starts off with a close up of his arm getting hacked off. Hardly a threat now that he is considered useless, he's then left to bleed in the hot sun. Then, through a wicked twist of irony, Ka Hai, as one of the warlord's henchmen, who looked on laughing as Hop's arms were severed, has his legs brutally disfigured by a healthy dose of acid. He is pushed down a hill and left for dead. That's when the magic happens. Wang and Ka meet again and eventually put their differences aside in order to get the ultimate revenge against the man responsible for the shape they're in. And that revenge, as you can imagine, is a violent and definite death for the evil warlord.

This movie is a nonstop barrage of amazing crippled kung fu techniques that climaxes with the legless Ka Hai jumping on the back of the armless Wang Hop, forming the ultimate gimp fu, revenge-minded, killing machine! If you only see one crippled kung fu film, see this one, but if you ask me, don't see only one; see them all!



  Two Crippled Heroes (1983)

"In the early republican years Peiyang warlord committed killing and firing, Hua Hsyung was one of sacrificers, he lost his hands at that time, he took his monkey with him and wandered.
One day he encountered a cripple-Tai Chiang, they had become good friends.
At mean time, town mayor sold munitions to Peiyang warlord and this illegal business was found by a servant-Ah Chun, they tried to kill her but those two cripples saved her, Peiyang warlord sent a killer again to handle two cripples, unfortunately, he was killed by them which brought town the peace for years.
Meanwhile, Ah Chun met her mother again (they had lost in touch for ten years), these two heroes went away..."
 
  Mr. No Legs (1975)

Now, I know that this film doesn't exactly fit into the normal realm of crippled kung film movies, considering that the cripple who's doing the kung fu-ing is not Asian and the film, as a whole, isn't even a Kung Fu movie. But I feel like it's not really fair to segregate the cripple genre, there's room for everyone, as long as they're practitioners of the crippled martial arts, there shouldn't be any problems. If your opinion differs, see this film and watch it slowly sway my way.

The story is pretty bad, in fact it borders on unintelligible, but it doesn't really matter as long as you've got the amazing Mr. No Legs in your movie. He may be the most incredible crippled star to ever grace the silver screen. Not only does he possess some pretty hardcore fighting skills, his wheel chair is readily equipped with 2 dual-barrel shotguns and throwing stars! So it's pretty obvious you don't fuck with Mr. No Legs. Now, let's look closely at the crucial scene, shall we? Mr. No Legs is casually sitting by the pool in his armored wheelchair, when suddenly he's sneak attacked! He pulls a throwing star from one of the rims on his wheel chair and punctures the throat of the first ambusher. Then he flips around in his wheelchair and gives another guy not one, but two slow-mo stump butts to the stomach! He then jumps out of his chair and begins striking with deadly force, going into his intense gimp fu stance and howling like a pint-sized Bruce Lee. He chops and punches with lightning speed and he moves like a legless panther. Then, two guys try to throw him into the pool, but he uses his super body strength to pull them in with him. He then strangles the men underwater and swims to safety. All this without any fucking legs! What a guy. All I can say is, see this movie. Buy it here!

And there it is, a brief and to-the-point overview of crippled kung fu. And don't forget, if you haven't seen much crippled kung fu in your lifetime, you're the one to blame. So get off your unafflected ass and see some today.

 

 
 
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